On cutting ties

Ending a relationship is not a punishment. It is arithmetic. If you come home smaller on the days you meet that person, the sum is already done. Look at the size, not the feeling.

Make no grand declaration. Take one day longer to answer the next message, and put off the next meeting by a month. A relationship dries not by cutting but by not watering. But if there is violence in it, do not let it dry slowly; cut it now. In the United States call 911, or 988 for support; elsewhere, findahelpline.com.